Holy wine

Maybe all i need is a box of brownie batter. I have a really crappy job. I mean it's the worst i have ever had. Two-faced management, oppressive dress code, awful clientele, shitty hours and half-baked coworkers. I can't believe i've been there as long as i have. All i think about when i'm there are my next days off and where else i'd rather be working. Working their front end completely burned me out and ruined my life. Some days i dont know if i have been black-balled and they have me blacklisted with other companies or if there really are no other jobs out there for me. It has made me suicidal and completely emotionally dependent on my loved ones. Instead of being an independent and driven young woman, i have become paranoid, shifty, predjudiced, judgmental, vulnerable, untrusting, self-centered and morose. Some days the only thing that levels me off is my love for gardening and cookery. If i could walk out and just find one outlet i can make a living off of that would sustain me body and soul i could want for nothing else. The relationships i have built with workers there have truly enriched my soul and i wish there was a way to free us from this awful punishment. I wish i could avenge them.