celebrated 21 years on the 2nd. also briefly observed one year anniversary of heart attack several weeks before.
developed strong like for chex mix and threw myself into a macrobiotic half-assed lifestyle of spending $50 on lettuces and fruits and eating about $30 worth, choking down smoothies and throwing out seafood.
made the WORST birthday cake ever for myself, out of crepes and chocolate custard. probably should have covered it in the fridge, as the outside dried out and the inside turned to mush. looked fucking rediculous.
I told you so.
continued to work and gripe. overdrew my bank account by three dollars over a bag of chex mix, and payed a fourty-dollar overdraft fee for it. bastards.
meticulously [not really] planned my sister's birthday and observed it without a hitch on the 25th. [not really]
went to dunkin' donuts for a dozen rainbow-sprinked pasties and i put seventeen trick candles on her birthday cake, and one normal one for good luck. FUCKING STUPID IDEA. had to take the cake outside and throw it on the grill and wait for it to burn itself off. we threw the cake out. i overcooked it when i left it in the oven after turning the oven off. damn carryover.
all was well and we watched REDNECK ZOMBIES when my father came in from work. told us his nightshift coverage coming in told him Michael Jackson was dead.
switched over CNN and cried.
he died while we were at dunkin donuts. or maybe while we were on our way there and i was fighting really bad with my mother. was i fighting? i remember being really angry.
best friend says i'm taking it better than he did when his grandmother died. there's a major part of my childhood almost compromised by his death. I've been enamored with him since i was old enough to say his name. I just miss him really bad.
