scratch that off the list

I'm a horror junkie. I've been absolutely obsessed by the macabre since i was about four, maybe five. my parents showed my Michael Jackson's THRILLER and i went ballistic.








i used to have nightmares that bordered on sexual fantasies about zombies coming out from under my bed and taking me away.



when i was eight, my father showed me "the RETURN of the LIVING DEAD" on Sci-Fi. it was around Easter and my I was in the kitchen with my mother making peanut-butter eggs, and i remember him calling me into the living room to "check this out"--

seeing half of a person rotted like green leather strapped to a metal table screaming for brains, and the mere utterance of

"it makes the pain...go away. I can feel myself ROT." it stuck around my psyche.

now every easter we watch that movie, and other zombie movies--but since i have it on DVD now, we sort of just watch that one. thanks, Dad.

douche. honestly i stayed up for two hour in my bed that night going over the plotline to the Lion King over and over again trying to distract myself from the living dead woman missing her lower half strapped to an embalming table.

it didn't help that for fourteen years i've lived four blocks from a large cemetary at the edge of the borough. i've had countless nightmares about the dead crawling out of their graves and making it to my house. last fall i bought myself a copy of THRILLER on DVD, after my kid sister and i got up the courage to watch all 14 minutes of it on YOUTUBE. I felt it was time to own a piece of my own paranoia. on halloween we stayed up to dvr all five hours of bravo's 100 SCARRIEST MOVIE MOMENTS commercial free. [it comes down to about three hours and fourty-six minutes solid, give or take]

last night i bought SLEEPAWAY CAMP on dvd, watched it with my sister. for the first hour or so its really bad. cheap acting, fifteen long minutes on average between each kill. it just sucks. i thought it'd be good for a laugh. i'm not really into slasher flicks, and that's what i thought it would be. the ending is so scary, disturbing, shocking, and revolting that we threw it out. i screamed "oh my God" at the top of my lungs for two minutes straight and switched over the tv to south park and just put my head between my knees and--we actually had to rewind it back and re-watch the ending to let it sink in. BEST FUCKING ENDING OF ANY MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN. still wouldn't watch it again. we took the garbage out this morning. it was a bootleg anyway. ha. I'm afraid to walk around the house alone now.

while hyperlinking the thriller video, i found this. how come no one told me about the philippino prison dance troupe before? the video of their THRILLER rehearsal is so fucking cool! and i had to watch them perform RADIO GAGA and GLORIA. Yeah, i'm a dork. but the sentiment behind their program is genuinely inspiring.

also seeing 1,500 people dance like zombies all at once is enough to make one masturbate out of fear.

...............maybe i should see a therapist.